


You Feel Like Home

by Boy-garbage (BloodPuker)



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: 5 4 3 2 1 grounding, Asexual Aziraphale (Good Omens), Asexual Crowley (Good Omens), Asexual Relationship, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Body Image, Body Worship, Chubby Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Cuddling, Depersonalization, Dinner Date, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Kisses, Love Confessions, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Tender - Freeform, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, crowley is a big softie who adores his angel, crowley is needy and loves to cuddle u cant change my mind, fatshaming, i mean just kinda cause they talk abt gabriels comment, its like 90 percent comfort lmao, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-23 20:14:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20211160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodPuker/pseuds/Boy-garbage
Summary: Aziraphale feels like he's flying on autopilot after being discorporated, possessing bodies, and being demonically re-corporated by the anti-Christ. Crowley helps him land back on earth.





	You Feel Like Home

**Author's Note:**

> This is very self indulgent and yes, I am projecting heavily onto Aziraphale. I cried more than I would like to admit when I wrote this. Good crying, though :)
> 
> 5-4-3-2-1 grounding is a tool I learned in therapy that has helped me immensely. If you deal with anxiety and/or dissociation, I highly recommend reading more about it <3
> 
> *Author is fat, trans, and also struggles with a trauma-related dissociation/depersonalization mental disorder. I mean no harm towards any character(s). I am using writing as a form of catharsis. Mean comments are NOT welcome*

The corporeal forms of angels and demons are as close to human as an occult or ethereal being can get. Of course, there were some slips. Eyes not entirely human, too few organs, too many bones, and the likeness of such occurrences were common. But generally, the only major difference being that they’re less temporary and more sturdy than their non-celestial counterparts. If anything were to happen to the body, the soul would be preserved and the body would be fixed to how it was before discorporation. This means that if the host wanted to change their hair, face, or body, they would have to do it the traditional route. Theoretically, they could miracle themselves the way they wanted, but such things were frowned upon by head office and could result in revoked privileges.

Aziraphale stood in front of the mirror, wearing his trousers and undershirt, glaring at himself. He was pinching at his thighs and running hands over his stomach. He turned to his side and pawed at the flesh with a frown. It wasn’t that he didn’t like what he saw, it’s just that what he saw didn’t seem right. It didn’t seem real; like he was two inches behind himself.  
“Almost ready? Our reservation is at nine” Crowley yelled from the living room.

“Nearly, dear” Aziraphale called out. He grabbed his shirt and waistcoat from the closet and began putting them on. He headed for the foyer where he found Crowley waiting by the door. 

“We could have just miracled a table open, I don’t see why you insist on doing things the human way” Crowley snarked “Especially if you’re going to take forever getting dressed.”

“It’s a new restaurant, best to give them the chance to be as prepared as they can. And never mind me, let's get a wiggle on” Aziraphale exclaimed, his voice coming out a bit higher than what he intended. 

“Everything alright?” Crowley raised an eyebrow

“Never better” Aziraphale gave a nervous smile and grabbed Crowley’s hand as they headed out.

They reached the spot in about 10 minutes, remarkable considering it should have been a 45 minute drive. The place was very french. It had an archway that led to a small patio area, surrounded by about three other small shops; The restaurant, a bakery, and a little antique merchant. The moonlight was streaming beautifully through the short trees and ivy that decorated the buildings. Fairy lights and lanterns were strung around on posts and wrapped around branches. The flowering garden in the middle was absolutely stunning, full of roses and orchids and irises. It reverberated an aura of quiet romance.

Crowley and Aziraphale took time admiring the flowers. Every so often, Aziraphale would notice a shaking rose and give Crowley a dirty look, then reaffirmed the flowers how beautiful they all were. Crowley plucked said rose and tucked it into Aziraphale’s coat pocket. The soft glow of blush graced both of their faces.

Eventually, they made their way inside. A tall, dark haired waitress greeted them and took them to their table; A petite, round wooden table with a cream colored cover. At the center, there was a simple vase with ornate flowers that seemed to be freshly picked from outside. The table itself was situated in a very intimate spot of the place, in an odd corner in front of a dividing wall. There was glass to see the other side, but it was way too cloudy to see much more than a general shape.

They ordered a few plates, and it all came out looking magnificent. Perfectly seasoned Steak Tartare, a gorgeously poached Duck Confit, and a plethora of delectable side dishes. They ate in silence, swiping bites from each others plates and gazing lovingly at one another. Well, Crowley did most of the gazing, relishing in how exquisite the night was going.

“That was scrumptious,” Aziraphale patted his mouth with the napkin. He looked over at Crowley, who still had about half of the food left on his plate “Is yours okay?”

“It’s good, ‘M just getting full” Crowley pushed his plate over and gestured towards a waitress a few tables away “You finish it, I’ll order us some dessert”

Aziraphale grabbed his hand “My dear, you know how tired you get when you’re full, and it’s getting late. My meal was so ever filling anyway. We could just get a box and skip dessert this time.”

“A box?!” A look of surprise crossed over Crowley’s face. The waitress made her way over and Crowley fumbled out “Uhh yeah. Check please. Actually, could we get a piece of cheesecake to go, please? Thanks.”

The waitress was quick to give them their box, check, and after dinner mints. They tipped her generously, and set out for the Bentley. Crowley, ever the gentleman, made sure to open Aziraphale’s door before climbing into the drivers side.

“Good meal” Crowley yawned and rubbed a hand across his eyes “Do you want to stop at the park? Get some ice cream?”

“You’re practically asleep, love” Aziraphale made a soft chuckle and took Crowley’s hand in his own, running his thumb over the knuckles. Crowley grunted his response and set the car into motion.

As soon as they got back to the flat, Crowley began stripping out of his clothes to get more comfortable, leaving a trail from the door to the bedroom. Aziraphale took his time placing his coat on the rack, and assumed the task of picking up the discarded fabric. He made it to their room in time to catch the sight of Crowley tripping onto the bed after a failed attempt of kicking off skinny jeans. He couldn’t take his eyes off the lithe body, completely enamored by the toned muscles and lean flesh. He truly was a sight to behold.

Crowley patted the space next to him, and Aziraphale made quick work to put the clothes in his hands back to where they belong. He slid into the bed, and Crowley immediately wrapped himself around Aziraphale. The demon grunted, waved his hand, and suddenly Aziraphale was naked, save for a pair of tartan boxers.

“I wish you would tell me before you did that” Aziraphale quickly grabbed at the comforter to pull over them

“You know you like it” Crowley squeezed him a bit too tight, resulting in a quip about his serpentine nature from the angel.

For as much as Aziraphale is a hedonist, he never took to sleep quite as much as Crowley did. Instead, he was perfectly content with cuddling and watching his lover rest on him; Of course, eventually even a sleeping Crowley would get restless and move around amongst the sheets. During those times, Aziraphale took it upon himself to get some work done in privacy. He would walk over to the bookshop to shelve new arrivals, or just to pick up some reading to bring back to Crowley’s flat. If his hands weren’t too full, he stopped at the shops to pick up groceries. The back and forth was inconvenient, and recently they talked about getting a small cottage together, somewhere close to the water. Aziraphale thought about calling the real estate agent, but he quickly realized he just wasn’t feeling up to it. He wasn’t up to do much of anything, really. But he had to get out of bed.

He stood, and walked towards the mirror. He stared at himself, trying to take it in, trying to make sense of things. The dinner had gone so well! The atmosphere was great, and the food was even better. But the whole time, he couldn’t help but feel as if he was just watching everything happen from the outside window.

Aziraphale moved his hand from his side, and saw yellow eyes appear where his palm had been.

“What are you doing?” Crowley propped himself up on his elbows.

“I was just— it’s silly really—“ Aziraphale flubbed through his words as Crowley stood from the bed and sauntered towards him. He looked away to avoid the serpentine gaze, standing awkwardly.

“Please talk to me, angel” He sounded concerned. He gently tilted Aziraphale’s face up to meet him

“I don’t know what to say, my dear” Aziraphale spoke as if the words were poison coming from his mouth

“It just feels like my thoughts are swimming through me. At first, I thought maybe Adam got my corporation wrong, but I’ve looked over everything and it’s just the same it’s always been. I know discorporating isn’t quite a walk in St. James, but I fear bouncing from body to body was not good for me. Gabriel’s comment hasn’t done me any favors either.” Aziraphale crossed his arms, propping his elbow up so he can hold his head.

“Gabriel? What did that prick say?” Crowley made his signature circle around Aziraphale

“Dear, you and I both know I’m not slim in the slightest way” Aziraphale sighed “He simply made a comment for me to “lose the gut.” It’s daft and shouldn’t have affected me so much, but it has”

“Can I tell you something?” Crowley snakes his arms around Aziraphale’s midsection

“Anything, dear. Always.” Aziraphale leaned into the touch

“I could never say ‘I Love You’” Crowley moved his head so golden eyes could meet blue “But what I could say was “Spot of lunch?”, and “Lets have seconds”, and “The dessert menu please”. All of those things, because I wanted to see you smile, wanted to spend more time with you, wanted you to be happy. Seeing you so full of joy and beaming made me happy. I couldn’t help but fall even more madly in love with you each time.”

“Oh, Crowley, that’s…” Aziraphale wiped a tear from his face, only to be interrupted by a gentle kiss on his lips

“I’m not done” Crowley took Aziraphale’s wrist and guided them over to the bed to sit. Skinny fingers found themselves grazing over the skin, admiring every roll, lump, bump, and love handle.

“I love this belly so much” Crowley leaned down to nuzzle his head into the cushion of flesh “I love how soft and warm it is. I love how it’s dotted with freckles. I love the curly white dusting of hair. I love your stretch marks; They’re golden, but they’re so much more than that. They glow and radiate how much _ love _ you have. It just pours out of them, a testament to how _ etheral _ you are; how perfect. And your thighs! My favorite seat in the world. I could stay here forever. They feel like home. _ You feel like home _.”

“Oh Crowley, I love you so much. More than dinners at fancy restaurants and first edition books of prophecy. More than heaven and humanity. More than anything. More than _ everything _.” Aziraphale’s voice was breaking. Crowley wrapped his arms around him, reaching up and around to rubbing small circles on his back.

“Lets try something” Crowley straightened his back to meet his eyes to Aziraphale “Tell me five things you can see.”

“Well, I can see you. I can see the mirror, and in the mirror I can see myself, the bed, and a terrified snake plant in the corner.” Aziraphale took a deep breath

“Okay, good. Now, describe to me four things you can feel.” 

“I can feel the concrete floor, cold and bare on my feet. I can feel the sheets rumpled under me, all silky. I feel your body against mine, a pressure that feels just too perfect. And love, I can feel your love, Crowley, radiating all round and into me.”  
“I love you.” Crowley murmured “Tell me three things you can hear”

“I can hear you talking with me, the gramophone playing Tchaikovsky's_ Seven Seas of Rhye _ . Remember that day, Crowley? It was terribly silly of me to leave all those records in your car, but you really laid out such a lovely picnic, and-- oh, my, I can hear myself. But I can’t just hear it, I can feel my voice. I can hear _ and _ feel how its coming out of my throat and how it vibrates through my bones.” Aziraphale was starting to regain some of the color to his face, a blush starting at the tips of his ears.

“You’re doing wonderful, dove” Crowley squeezed his hand “Can you tell me two things you can smell?”

“That ones a bit more challenging” Aziraphale paused for a moment, taking in his surroundings “I smell something citrusy, and maybe a hit of sandalwood? Oh, dear boy, did you get a new cologne?”

“Was wondering when you would notice. I have only one more question” Crowley grinned and kissed the angels knuckles “One thing you can taste?”

“Those chocolate mints they gave us at the restaurant. You didn’t want yours.” Aziraphale clacked his tongue in his mouth, reliving the sweetness of the treat.

“I lied before. Now, really, I have one more question” Crowley leaned back on his palms, fingers still intertwined with Aziraphale’s “How do you feel?”

“Better” Aziraphale took back his hand, and stuck them both out in front to study them “A lot better, actually. Can I say it, just this once?”

“Go ahead” Crowley rolled his eyes, but he was grinning.

“Crowley, you really are a good person. You’re so sweet, and you always do the nicest things, always thinking of me. I can feel how much you love me, sometimes it’s overwhelming” Aziraphale wrapped his arms around him, pulling him so very close “And I love you so much, so very very much”

Aziraphale couldn’t see it, but he could feel the spot where Crowley’s head was resting become wet. He was crying; both of them were. They crawled their way up towards the pillows again and slipped under the heavy blanket. For the rest of the night, they laid there holding each other, in a state of utter bliss and perfectly content, letting the waves of love wash over them.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!! I really appreciate kudos and comments! They motivate me to write more <3
> 
> Follow me on tumblr! I don't bite and would love to have a chat! :D  
https://boy-garbage.tumblr.com/


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